Also: 2001 / 2000

My auctions on eBay

(The making of a mockery)

(Yes, these are items I have really put up for bid on eBay!)




My eBay account name is QOMO50.My currently active auctions on the eBay websiteMy feedback profileeBay

Auction Information (most recent on top)


Battlestar Galactica / St. John's Wort


Item Description

Item 191834421When I was a kid I loved the show "Battlestar Galactica". Then recently I saw a commercial for "St. John's Wort" (a vitamin supplement). That gave me the idea to combine the Battlestar Galactica ship with a giant bottle of St. John's Wort to create an all-new ship. I'm not sure what to call it yet.

What I am offering here is a model of this ship that I made myself. The model looks a lot like my actual vision for the ship, except it's just a zucchini with a wire coat hanger stuck in it to simulate a landing bay.

While I'm keeping it refrigerated, I don't think the zucchini will survive too long in its current state, so I expect this to be a limited time offer.

This is a must for science fiction fans everywhere. And especially for science fiction fans who like vitamin supplements. And in fact, would be absolutely perfect for a science fiction fan who likes vitamin supplements and zucchini. And coat hangers.

CategoryCollectibles:Science Fiction:General
Start10/31/99, 17:51:23 PST
End11/05/99, 17:51:23 PST
Starting price$3.55
High bid--
# of bids0


Fall Foliage at Night


Item Description

Item 188487807Two weeks ago I took a car trip through Vermont right at the height of the beautiful Fall Foliage season. Throughout the drive, I went through more than three rolls of film! I combined some breathtaking panoramic views with fascinating close-ups (using a telephoto lens).

The leaves ran from green to yellow to red (almost like a traffic light, incidentally). There were no leaves in the blue-purple end of the spectrum. Those just don't happen.

Anyway, it was a memorable trip captured on film.

The only other thing I should mention is that I took the pictures at night and the resultant photographs are completely black (except for three where you can make out vague spots of light coming from a distant Mobil Station). Despite not being able to see any of the foliage in the pictures, understand that the vistas were still there (just not in enough light to see them).

Good luck bidding, and enjoy "Vermont at Night" (that's what I titled them).

CategoryCollectibles:Weird Stuff:Slightly Unusual
Start10/25/99, 21:01:55 PDT
End10/30/99, 21:01:55 PDT
Starting price$7.25
High bid--
# of bids0


Paperweight (formerly meat)


Item Description

Item 179997768Each year at about this time I need to take out some jackets as the weather is getting cooler. So one day last week I put one on to go to work. Well, you know how when you haven't worn something for a while and then you check the pockets, you sometimes find a surprise (like $20.00 or something)? Well, I put my hands in the pockets (since it was chilly) and discovered that I had left a rump roast in there last spring!

I feel that I can no longer use this so I'm offering it here on ebay. Now understand, THIS IS NO LONGER FOOD! It's kind of a hard shriveled rock-looking thing. It might be ideal as a paperweight (which is why I put it into this category).

CategoryMiscellaneous:Household:Home Furnishings
Start10/11/99, 16:44:46 PDT
End10/16/99, 16:44:46 PDT
Starting price$3.35
High bid--
# of bids0


Magical Healing Colander


Item Description

Item 178768778OK, this is pretty amazing. A couple of months ago, I was suffering from the effects of the flu and was beginning to wonder if it was something more and I should call a doctor. My temperature hovered around 103F and I had no appetite. I made up my mind to call the doctor the following morning. That night, in a last-ditch effort to stem the fever, I slept with my spaghetti colander next to me. That next morning, I woke up and felt better than I had in days! I put off calling the doctor and within twelve hours, I was in perfect health.

Then just about two weeks ago, I severely sprained my left ankle playing basketball. I had been playing fairly well and when I do that I sometimes try to get fancy. Flying in for a rebound, I landed on someone's foot and partially tore the ligaments. I iced it for hours and immobilized the ankle. Fresh from the miracle of the previous month, I decided to try taking my spaghetti colander to bed again. So I did. This time it seemed to have no effect. The next morning I woke up and the ankle was still painful and swollen.

This leads me to believe that the colander will only perform its healing magic once for a person and then must be passed on to someone else. For this reason, I am offering it here on eBay.

The colander is a light cream color and about eight inches in diameter. It is plastic.

Good luck, and use it wisely.

Start10/09/99, 18:24:26 PDT
End10/16/99, 18:24:26 PDT
Starting price$5.00
High bid--
# of bids0


Half of a Ham Sandwich


Item Description

Item 168027191A couple of days ago, I made a ham sandwich. I ate half of it and put the other half in the refrigerator. Upon further reflection, I have decided not to eat the other half (the half in the fridge).

The sandwich contains two slices of white bread (top & bottom) and a few slices of ham in the middle (not sure how many). There is mustard slathered on the upper piece of bread. The sandwich was cut diagonally.

This would be a great item for someone who was kind of hungry but not very hungry and who doesn't mind food that may have spoiled. An affinity for ham is a plus too.
Received Thursday, September 23, 1999 at 3:18 PM:

The following auction has been brought to our attention:

168027191 Half of a Ham Sandwich

The item listed was inappropriate for our site.

Start09/20/99, 19:37:32 PDT
End09/25/99, 19:37:32 PDT
Starting price$4.00
High bid--
# of bids--


Actual Portal to Hell


Item Description

Item 166924202I was cleaning out the closet in my bedroom. Upon moving a box of ties & belts, I discovered an actual portal to hell, (with Mephistopheles, etc.)

Needless to say, I want to get rid of this. There will be no sacrificing of farm animals in MY closet!

Winning bidder pays shipping.
Received Monday, September 20, 1999 at 12:52 AM:

The following auction(s): 166924202 Actual Portal to Hell

has been ended early. The content of your auction has been deemed inappropriate for inclusion in the eBay forum. We do not allow listings of items which are of gag content.

Start09/18/99, 21:34:18 PDT
End09/28/99, 21:34:18 PDT
Starting price$6.00
High bid--
# of bids--

[account="Komo50" below this point]

49% Ownership of my Left Leg


Item Description

Item 159628184What you have here is the opportunity to own a 49% share of my left leg for six (6) months. It is important to understand that this is NON-VOTING ownership and you will not have the right to make any decisions about my left leg's activity, clothing, or anything else. Any claims to other parts of my body are neither expressed nor implied.
Received Friday, September 10, 1999 at 6:18 PM:

The following auction(s): 159628184 49% Ownership of my Left Leg

has been ended early. The content of your auction has been deemed inappropriate for inclusion in the eBay forum.

Received Friday, September 10, 1999 at 7:35 PM:

Dear komo50,

We regret to inform you that the following eBay account has been suspended: komo50. This account has been suspended for the following reason(s): *The listing of human body parts is not permitted on the eBay site.

Start09/07/99, 13:33:25 PDT
End09/17/99, 13:33:25 PDT
Starting price$7.00
High bid--
# of bids--


Newspaper and Fluffernutter


Item Description

Item 154072874What you will be receiving here is a copy of the sports section of the Boston Globe from Friday, August 27, 1999. Also, I will include a jar of Fluffernutter (that white stuff that used to go on peanut-butter sandwiches in the 70's).

The sports section contains a story about New England Patriots draft pick Michael Bishop as well as standard information (like transactions, baseball box scores, etc.) The Fluffernutter contains corn syrup, sugar syrup, vanilla flavor, and egg white. There are no artificial preservatives, stabilizers, emulsifiers, or colorings. Each serving (2-tbsp) has 60 calories. Unfortunately, the scoreboard page of the sports section is at the end of another section so it isn't included here. There is, however, a photo of Michael Johnson winning a race.

Start08/28/99, 01:01:01 PDT
End09/07/99, 01:01:01 PDT
Starting price$4.15
High bid--
# of bids0




Item Description

Item 153683798Up for bid on ebay. Buyer pays actual shipping.
Start08/27/99, 09:07:41 PDT
End09/06/99, 09:07:41 PDT
Starting price$2.65
High bid--
# of bids0


Chance to Answer "Yew/Ewe" Question


Item Description

Item 153667072I have a question about Yews and Ewes. It actually isn't a very complicated question. The winner of this auction will be the person to whom I'll ask the question (upon receipt of payment, of course).
CategoryMiscellaneous:Services:Information Services
Start08/27/99, 08:16:10 PDT
End09/06/99, 08:16:10 PDT
Starting price$0.60
High bid--
# of bids0


A picket (one "fent")


Item Description

Item 153465616After I did some repairs on my picket fence, I was left with one extra picket (I had to replace it because the hole where the top nail goes had rotted and no longer kept it fastened to the cross rail). The picket is six feet high (actually, it's now about 5'10" due to rotting on the bottom). It is fairly weather-worn and has a large hole where the top nail would fasten it to the cross rail. The other two holes (for the middle & bottom nails) are still very reasonably-sized.

This would be a good item for someone who has a fence with one single fent missing. Also, they would have to be good at repairing nail-holes.

Buyer pays actual shipping (I estimate it at $10.00 or so).

CategoryMiscellaneous:Hardware Supplies
Start08/26/99, 18:45:05 PDT
End09/05/99, 18:45:05 PDT
Starting price$3.15
High bid--
# of bids0


One Scissor


Item Description

Item 152652409A couple of days ago I was cleaning out a drawer in the kitchen. There was a lot of "random crap" there including a bunch of pencils, paper clips, and other desk supplies. Toward the back, I found one scissor. Yes, that's right - it was one of the two blades (with handle). The other half was nowhere to be found. Still, I didn't want to throw this out. That would be wasteful.

The scissor is from a righty pair and is the part where you would put your thumb (i.e. the top half). It's about six inches long. The handle end is black and the blade end is silver (it's metal).

This would be a perfect item for someone who had the bottom half of a pair of righty scissors and was looking to fix it and bring it back to functionality. It might fit with the top half of a lefty scissors but I don't think it's oriented the correct way to combine with the bottom half of a lefty scissors or the top half of a righty scissors. But I may be wrong here.

Anyway, shipping is $3.00. Hope you find this useful.

Start08/25/99, 10:21:23 PDT
End09/04/99, 10:21:23 PDT
Starting price$2.10
High bid--
# of bids0


Cassette: Explanation of Speculum / Shoe comment


Item Description

Item 152572314The other day, I had cause to utter the phrase, "Aha, there's a speculum in my shoe." This cassette contains the explanation of how that comment came about. Here's a brief excerpt of what's on the cassette:

"For some reason, I couldn't fully mush down the foam insert. At this point, I suspected the cats were involved."

Shipping is $2.00.

CategoryBooks, Movies, Music:Music:Tapes:Cassettes
Start08/25/99, 06:27:24 PDT
End09/04/99, 06:27:24 PDT
Starting price$2.30
High bid--
# of bids0


Picture of an Andy Etchebarren baseball card


Item Description

Item 152479961If you take part in this auction, you will be bidding on a picture of Andy Etchebarren's 1974 Topps #488 baseball card (but not the actual card itself). The picture is a standard 3" X 5" 35mm color print. The card itself depicts Andy Etchebarren in his Orioles uniform squatting in the catcher's position. I believe he was posing for this picture and not actually waiting to receive a pitch. There's a real dorky-looking guy in the background.

The picture (not the card itself) is in mint condition. The card (not the picture) is in poor condition. The card has creases, old tape, and a torn section at the top right above Andy Etchebarren's cap. Remember, it is the picture you are bidding on, not the actual card. Shipping is $0.33.

CategorySports Memorabilia:Trading Cards:Baseball:Singles: 1950 - 1980
Start08/24/99, 21:09:25 PDT
End09/03/99, 21:09:25 PDT
Starting price$1.55
High bid--
# of bids0


Signed Artist's Rendition of my Pole Saw


Item Description

Item 152054217I recently purchased a GreenThumb® pole saw to assist me in trimming some branches from a couple of trees in my yard. It was purchased at Aubuchon Hardware. When I was a camp counselor years ago, I actually had one of the Aubuchon children in my group! They also used the same piano teacher as me. That's not the reason I bought it there however. It also happens to be the closest hardware store to my house.

Anyway, while the pole saw was lying on the grass, partially extended, I drew a picture of it. This picture is signed and numbered by me. It's a very limited print (#1 of 3).

The following materials were used in the creation of this picture: A piece of notebook paper; Three colored pencils (green, grey, black, brown, blue). Well, actually that's five colored pencils. The piece (art, not actual pole saw) measures approximately 4" X 6".

Shipping is $0.33.

Just a note of caution, this print is not to be confused with a similar drawing I once saw in Sports Illustrated of an athlete throwing a javelin.

CategoryMiscellaneous:Garden Items:Garden Accessories
Start08/24/99, 06:34:26 PDT
End09/03/99, 06:34:26 PDT
Starting price$0.75
High bid$0.75
# of bids1 (bid history)


Naming Rights to my Lawnmower


Item Description

Item 152049859OK, here you have a chance to designate an official name for my lawnmower for one (1) year. Here's how this works...

Let's say the winning bidder in this auction was "Trans World Airlines (TWA)." Now, when I'm showing my garden equipment to friends, I would say something like "Here's my broadcast spreader; here's my Garden Weasel, here's a hose, and this over here is my Trans World Airlines electric lawnmower." If desired, the name could be customized, like "The Trans World Airlines Trans Yard Mower". You get the idea.

It is a fifteen-year-old TORO electric mower. It's in very good condition. I have to be honest, it isn't my primary mower. That one's named "Kal" already, sorry.

There are no shipping costs.

Start08/24/99, 06:13:45 PDT
End09/03/99, 06:13:45 PDT
Starting price$2.75
High bid$3.25
# of bids3 (bid history)


Two dollars and sixty-seven cents ($2.67)


Item Description

Item 151885551This item is $2.67 that I recently found in a jacket pocket. I was moving the jacket to a closet because my cats were getting fur on it while it was out hanging over a chair. It is valued at $2.67.

The denominational breakdown is as follows:

  • Two (2) single dollar bills
  • Two (2) quarters
  • One (1) dime
  • One (1) nickel
  • Two (2) pennies

None of the coins or bills would be considered "rare" or "hard-to-find". All coins are 1985 or later. Buyer pays $0.33 shipping. Good luck!

CategoryCoins & Stamps:Coins:US:General
Start08/23/99, 19:13:07 PDT
End09/02/99, 19:13:07 PDT
Starting price$1.25
High bid$2.50
# of bids3 (bid history)


Some Dirt from my Back Yard


Item Description

Item 150871461This item is a sandwich bag filled with dirt from my back yard. The dirt is brown and may have some small pebbles in it. There will not be any worms in it. This is rare and hard-to-find (unless you are one of my neighbors). Buyer to pay $1.00 for shipping. Good luck!
CategoryCollectibles:Weird Stuff:General
Start08/21/99, 21:53:47 PDT
End08/31/99, 21:53:47 PDT
Starting price$0.50
High bid$3.00
# of bids10 (bid history)

Auctions from other years:

2001 / 2000

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